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I Met A Man Once (4)

  Dear he-who-must-not-be-named! You texted me, "let's let it go. Gave it our best shot." Just at the time I was reading. "God tells you to put something down because he has something greater for you" and it made complete sense. I knew exactly what to do at that point. I knew that he actually wanted me to let you go.   I did not know why, I did not want to let you go, but I knew then that he was answering my prayer of three-four months ago when I told him I didn't want to be in a relationship with any man again except he's actually my life partner, and how he should give me the wisdom to relate with the men in my life at that time, To not make the same mistakes as I did in the past, and that if I ever got really close in love with any of them and he wasn't the right one, that God should find a way to make something happen between us that would cause us to let each other go before we agreed to be exclusive. I realized that he had answered that...

I Met A Man Once (3)

  Dear he-who-must-not-be-named! You know you were really insensitive sometimes. Did you expect me to do things at your pace without caring about how things were on my end? Or how wired my head had become?   I mean, if you knew that the right thing was for me to go heal before trying something with anyone then why didn't you let me from the beginning? Why didn’t you let me go all those times I tried to because I knew I didn’t the capacity at the time to deal with you? Why did you always come back? Why were you so selfish? If you were not selfish, if it was because you just really loved me for me, you would have flowed with me at a pace that would help me heal completely without pointing out my past, and using it to guilt me every time i refused to give you what you wanted the way you wanted it? Now you feel all that you have ever done with me was right and you never acted wrong, and that everything is all my fault, then that's alright. It was obvious I did have everythin...

I Met A Man Once (2)

  A few months after it started, even though i was still scared about making a wrong decision. He-who-must-not-be-named! was the only man i had my eyes on. I didn't want him to have an idea that i was falling for him incase he took advantage of that information. I was firm in my resolve that i was still going to take my time to get to "yes" to his request no matter how much i wanted everything a relationship entailed with him. Yet, i remembered a singles & dating sermon i watched once that talked about not letting the person go, as long as they added value to your life. So i wrote down the next few lines in my notebook.   ''How does he make me feel?  Secure, complete, confident, not just excited but emotionally energized when we talk, when he holds my hands or when he touches me. He inspires me. Makes me feel like there is nothing I cannot accomplish every time he's encouraging my work or telling me I can do it. What about the day he told me about m...

I Met A Man Once

 I met a man once. His name was... Well, I can't say his name out loud. You might think its out of fear but really its because he has become he-who-must-not-be-named! I couldn't help that exclamation mark. So yeah, its that bad. And though he didn't hurt me like other men have, I still wish I had not experienced knowing him. I still wish I had stayed out all those times I walked out on him. I have realized now that it was my inward intuition bearing witness to the fact that it was all off. That it was too good to be true. And then wondering when he'd put off the mask. Ohohoho, he did put off the mask...and so suddenly that I was shook. I never expected to be, mind you. I mean I didn't love him that much.  I realized then, that when you don't call the shots anymore, it seriously hurts. You think you're heartbroken but you're really not. You're just shocked and boy you know what shock does to the human heart. Anyways. I thought he was the epitome of a ...

Is There Any Hope?

This morning I’m afraid!   My heart is racing a thousand miles per hour and I don’t know how to still it, my forehead is splitting from a headache that I can’t remember feeling before I went to bed the night before. I mean, I was anxious but I didn’t cry.   Okay, maybe a little bit as I said my prayers before climbing into bed last night, but I felt at peace right after.  A lot has been on my mind lately. I seriously am afraid of what the future holds for me…I keep thinking about the things I’ve lost.  Will I ever get them back, or will I get much better things than them? And how long before they get to me?   Timing. Pressure.   Pressure especially. We all feel that one day of the other. Is it easy to go through pressure when you have the people who love you around? What if you don’t have anyone?  A lot of people might be hurt if they heard you say you didn’t have anyone but do they know that a person can have lots of people aroun...

The Oshoke: an excerpt.

Evelyn is standing with a chubby man, her father(56) and a woman(50). She is explaining what just happened to Her when the gateman comes in hurriedly. GATEMAN Oga, dem don defeat me o.! Evelyn and her parents turn towards him at the same time, Evelyn a little scared but comports herself when she sees it's just the gateman . MRS OSHOKE what are you talking about? GATEMAN I say dem don defeat me and I no know how to pursue them back o. MR OSHOKE (a little irritated) Who are you talking about? GATEMAN those madmen wey Evelyn carry come back house. EVELYN  (  scared ) They are still there? GATEMAN Yes o, I don try pursue dem o but dem no free so I say make I come call you sir, make you follow me pursue dem commot. MR OSHOKE  ( scared but feignig the opposite) Why? GATEMAN those two mad men big pass me o... But you, you be two in one. If you join me, we go be three in two. (to himself but loud enough to be heard by others)  Omo! See ma...
Love is not for me! Love is not for me!!  Love is not for me!!!  Yeah, I said it.  How much of the things we say is strong enough to be true? How much of what we say is even real?  Hell, how much of life is real?  Everything?  You think so?  I don't know.  What makes life important?  Happiness. Money. Good health. success. Love? Love? What is love?  Trust me, in this world, love is pain! I don't know about the next.  Why do we still crave love even though all it brings us is pain? Heartache, dull ache in the chest, butterflies in the stomach, whatever, all pain.  Why must love be a part of a fulfilled life? Trust me there are men and women in this world who are fulfilled without love...and yet the world judges them. Why judge them? Do you know what they've been through? Do you know how many times they've opened up their doors to love? Do you know how many times love has let them down?  And then the world says they are hard...

Drama Queen

Drama Queen
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