Stories By Hope

  Dear he-who-must-not-be-named! You texted me, "let's let it go. Gave it our best shot." Just at the time I was reading. "God tells you to put something down because he has something greater for you" and it made complete sense. I knew exactly what to do at that point. I knew that he actually wanted me to let you go.   I did not know why, I did not want to let you go, but I knew then that he was answering my prayer of three-four months ago when I told him I didn't want to be in a relationship with any man again except he's actually my life partner, and how he should give me the wisdom to relate with the men in my life at that time, To not make the same mistakes as I did in the past, and that if I ever got really close in love with any of them and he wasn't the right one, that God should find a way to make something happen between us that would cause us to let each other go before we agreed to be exclusive. I realized that he had answered that...

  Dear he-who-must-not-be-named! You know you were really insensitive sometimes. Did you expect me to do things at your pace without caring about how things were on my end? Or how wired my head had become?   I mean, if you knew that the right thing was for me to go heal before trying something with anyone then why didn't you let me from the beginning? Why didn’t you let me go all those times I tried to because I knew I didn’t the capacity at the time to deal with you? Why did you always come back? Why were you so selfish? If you were not selfish, if it was because you just really loved me for me, you would have flowed with me at a pace that would help me heal completely without pointing out my past, and using it to guilt me every time i refused to give you what you wanted the way you wanted it? Now you feel all that you have ever done with me was right and you never acted wrong, and that everything is all my fault, then that's alright. It was obvious I did have everythin...

  A few months after it started, even though i was still scared about making a wrong decision. He-who-must-not-be-named! was the only man i had my eyes on. I didn't want him to have an idea that i was falling for him incase he took advantage of that information. I was firm in my resolve that i was still going to take my time to get to "yes" to his request no matter how much i wanted everything a relationship entailed with him. Yet, i remembered a singles & dating sermon i watched once that talked about not letting the person go, as long as they added value to your life. So i wrote down the next few lines in my notebook.   ''How does he make me feel?  Secure, complete, confident, not just excited but emotionally energized when we talk, when he holds my hands or when he touches me. He inspires me. Makes me feel like there is nothing I cannot accomplish every time he's encouraging my work or telling me I can do it. What about the day he told me about m...

 I met a man once. His name was... Well, I can't say his name out loud. You might think its out of fear but really its because he has become he-who-must-not-be-named! I couldn't help that exclamation mark. So yeah, its that bad. And though he didn't hurt me like other men have, I still wish I had not experienced knowing him. I still wish I had stayed out all those times I walked out on him. I have realized now that it was my inward intuition bearing witness to the fact that it was all off. That it was too good to be true. And then wondering when he'd put off the mask. Ohohoho, he did put off the mask...and so suddenly that I was shook. I never expected to be, mind you. I mean I didn't love him that much.  I realized then, that when you don't call the shots anymore, it seriously hurts. You think you're heartbroken but you're really not. You're just shocked and boy you know what shock does to the human heart. Anyways. I thought he was the epitome of a ...

“Kiss me.” I suddenly said and felt his hand still on my back. “You’re awake?” he asked in a surprised voice. What? Did he think I’d be able to sleep through it? I sat up…the covers falling off my body. “Yes.” “Bibi, Lola and I broke up a long time ago. I didn’t…” “Just kiss me so we can get over this Lola ish.” I cut him off.  After all, I knew the whole story…Kendra made sure. And yes, it would have been nice to hear it from the horse’s mouth but I couldn’t wait. I wanted that mouth on me. He stared at me for a while…I remember wondering if he felt unsure. Then he leaned in and kissed me. Deep and hungrily… Then pulled away. Not again…I was beginning to think but couldnt finish when he looked me in the eyes (I mean, it was dark but he had to be) and said,  “I love you Bibi.” My heart stopped…he finally said it to me…to my face And he kissed me again…. And then the world was right again. THE END Thanks y'all for reading  The Secret Diaries ...

                                                                     I didn’t care if he wanted to be with me for just sex , i’ll take the  stolen moments and go , I thought to myself. I wanted him. I started to touch him…moving my hands down his length until they got to the band of his pyjamas trouser. I really wanted him then… He pulled away from me. He studied me for a bit then scooted over. “What?” I croaked, barely able to form the words. I was overwhelmed with lust. I cleared my throat and tried again.”What’s wrong?” There was a silence in which I felt I should be embarrassed but I wasn’t. After all, he started it. “I know you think ever...

  Three weeks in Vegas and we were headed back! It happened to be the best time of my life. I’m sorry Kendra, I thought to myself. I’ve had really good times with you…I mean you’re my best friend but someone has surpassed you in that… Daniel… My boyfriend. Yes, you heard me right!    The business trip only lasted one week and I played my part as a ghost P.A. my only job was to record the proceedings of the meeting…with a pen. It wasn’t easy trying to catch most of the words as they rolled back and forth between the two parties but I did my best. In the end, it wasn’t necessary, Daniel had only given me the pretend job just to have me with him. The meetings were video recorded from start to finish…I only found out when it was all over but I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t upset that he had manipulated me into going with him, after all, he was the spender…who still had to pay for my pretend job. The morning before we were supposed to head back home, he made...

Everyone agreed. Especially me… Kendra and I loved watching movies together. We’d joke and tease the different actors that seemed fake. Yemi’s conversation with his friend broke off immediately. He turned on the D.V.D player and slid in a disc saying, “You guys will love this movie.” We arranged ourselves on the three huge couches. I don’t know how but I found myself on the couch we’d been sitting on since we got there…and Kendra in between yemi and i…the other girl, gone. Oh I know…he was the newcomer…he must have actually been looking at her at some point. One of the guys turned off the lights and I felt Kendra hold my hand. I wondered if it was because she was nervous sitting really close to her crush. I put my fingers in the spaces between her fingers and hold her hand tight. The movie started off on a funny note and I felt my friend relax beside me. As the movie went on, I remember thinking to myself that it was comedy…comedy they say heals the heart…an...