Stories By Hope

  Dear he-who-must-not-be-named! You know you were really insensitive sometimes. Did you expect me to do things at your pace without caring about how things were on my end? Or how wired my head had become?   I mean, if you knew that the right thing was for me to go heal before trying something with anyone then why didn't you let me from the beginning? Why didn’t you let me go all those times I tried to because I knew I didn’t the capacity at the time to deal with you? Why did you always come back? Why were you so selfish? If you were not selfish, if it was because you just really loved me for me, you would have flowed with me at a pace that would help me heal completely without pointing out my past, and using it to guilt me every time i refused to give you what you wanted the way you wanted it? Now you feel all that you have ever done with me was right and you never acted wrong, and that everything is all my fault, then that's alright. It was obvious I did have everythin...

  A few months after it started, even though i was still scared about making a wrong decision. He-who-must-not-be-named! was the only man i had my eyes on. I didn't want him to have an idea that i was falling for him incase he took advantage of that information. I was firm in my resolve that i was still going to take my time to get to "yes" to his request no matter how much i wanted everything a relationship entailed with him. Yet, i remembered a singles & dating sermon i watched once that talked about not letting the person go, as long as they added value to your life. So i wrote down the next few lines in my notebook.   ''How does he make me feel?  Secure, complete, confident, not just excited but emotionally energized when we talk, when he holds my hands or when he touches me. He inspires me. Makes me feel like there is nothing I cannot accomplish every time he's encouraging my work or telling me I can do it. What about the day he told me about m...