Skip to main content

I Met A Man Once (3)

 



Dear he-who-must-not-be-named! You know you were really insensitive sometimes. Did you expect me to do things at your pace without caring about how things were on my end? Or how wired my head had become?

 I mean, if you knew that the right thing was for me to go heal before trying something with anyone then why didn't you let me from the beginning? Why didn’t you let me go all those times I tried to because I knew I didn’t the capacity at the time to deal with you? Why did you always come back?

Why were you so selfish? If you were not selfish, if it was because you just really loved me for me, you would have flowed with me at a pace that would help me heal completely without pointing out my past, and using it to guilt me every time i refused to give you what you wanted the way you wanted it?

Now you feel all that you have ever done with me was right and you never acted wrong, and that everything is all my fault, then that's alright. It was obvious I did have everything to offer you that you wanted… Just not when you wanted it because I wasn’t ready to put myself out there yet and that's okay.

All of this may come out like I’m blaming it all on you but I really am not. I’m to blame for half of it but I really wanted for you to put up with me like I was putting up with you. A lot of times, I insinuated that we needed to let each other go and didn’t really mean that but you were the one who said it plainly and really meant it. Now that we actually have, it hurts but we're killing it already.

to be continued…

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Your thoughts matter here...

If something in these words spoke to you (or even if it didn’t) I would love to hear your reflections.

Leave a note below so we can build a gentle, thoughtful dialogue together ❤️

Share

Popular posts from this blog

The Secret Diaries: Kendra

I had to look out for my friend. She'd gone and fallen in love with some rich, arrogant dude. The type who had women falling all over him and so took advantage. Bibi found out the hard way... And that was after she'd lost her v... to him. It made me mad to know that Bibi still had feelings for the guy... She froze every time she saw him. I wanted to slap her all those times but couldn't... Couldn't blame her either, I know she tried her best to forget him but it was hard. I did my best too... I hooked her up some other guys...rich guys but it never went beyond the first date. She was never interested. I gave up then. L et Bibi do whatever she wants, I told myself. I needed to respect her feelings even though it mad me mad. I cared about her alot. That was why when after an hour she'd told she needed to pee she wasn't back,  I got worried and started looking for her... She was missing the party... Hell,  I was missing the party by looking fo...
1 comment
Read more

How Well Do You Know Your Telephone History?

Have you ever wondered how you could just pick up this small device and talk through it to someone else, miles and miles away from you and hear them as clearly as if they were sitting on the same couch as you? I have wondered that a lot. I have wondered who could have stumbled on the idea that something could be done to make people who live far away from each other to communicate with each other by voice. How did the person get the idea? Well, here's what i found... Two men, Alexander Graham Bell and Elisha Gray stumbled on the idea; maybe around the same time, I don't know, but they both filed for a patent on the same day. This caused a huge disagreement that led to a legal battle to find who to be awarded the patent for the invention of the telephone. Alexander Graham Bell won. His lawyer had filed for a patent a few hours before Elisha's lawyer filed for his own patent. One day, in an electrical shop, Alexander Graham Bell was trying to perfect a method for sending mes...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Met A Man Once (2)

  A few months after it started, even though i was still scared about making a wrong decision. He-who-must-not-be-named! was the only man i had my eyes on. I didn't want him to have an idea that i was falling for him incase he took advantage of that information. I was firm in my resolve that i was still going to take my time to get to "yes" to his request no matter how much i wanted everything a relationship entailed with him. Yet, i remembered a singles & dating sermon i watched once that talked about not letting the person go, as long as they added value to your life. So i wrote down the next few lines in my notebook.   ''How does he make me feel?  Secure, complete, confident, not just excited but emotionally energized when we talk, when he holds my hands or when he touches me. He inspires me. Makes me feel like there is nothing I cannot accomplish every time he's encouraging my work or telling me I can do it. What about the day he told me about m...
Post a Comment
Read more