Dear he-who-must-not-be-named! You know you were really insensitive
sometimes. Did you expect me to do things at your pace without caring about how
things were on my end? Or how wired my head had become?
I mean, if you knew
that the right thing was for me to go heal before trying something with anyone
then why didn't you let me from the beginning? Why didn’t you let me go all
those times I tried to because I knew I didn’t the capacity at the time to deal
with you? Why did you always come back?
Why were you so selfish? If you were not selfish, if it was
because you just really loved me for me, you would have flowed with me at a
pace that would help me heal completely without pointing out my past, and using
it to guilt me every time i refused to give you what you wanted the way you
wanted it?
Now you feel all that you have ever done with me was right
and you never acted wrong, and that everything is all my fault, then that's
alright. It was obvious I did have everything to offer you that you wanted…
Just not when you wanted it because I wasn’t ready to put myself out there yet
and that's okay.
All of this may come out like I’m blaming it all on you but I
really am not. I’m to blame for half of it but I really wanted for you to put
up with me like I was putting up with you. A lot of times, I insinuated that we
needed to let each other go and didn’t really mean that but you were the one
who said it plainly and really meant it. Now that we actually have, it hurts
but we're killing it already.
to be continued…
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