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The Secret Diaries 2

He just ignored me and kept watching t.v.
When i couldn’t take it anymore, i got up from the couch and told him i would just take a shower and wait in his bedroom...
I mean, he ought to have known what i meant because he nodded. 
I found the room that seemed like his bedroom, got into the bathroom and showered. 
I was hoping to find him already in the room when i was done but he wasn’t there…
Wasn’t he interested? 
Was he just pulling my legs? 
He had better not be joking... now i’d decided to go through with it.
I started looking for something to wear that wasn’t my clothes and found a wine coloured silk night gown in his wardrope. I didn’t even want to wonder why it was there at all. 
I put it on and saw that it was a little above my knees...
It had to have been for someone taller. 

The night gown was sleeveless and the v-neck showed the not so much boobs i had. 
Looking myself in the mirror on the dressing table, i saw uneasiness…
Yeah, i was quite nervous i mean, i had just agreed to have sex for the first time and i heard it was quite painful. I tried to imagine what the pain would feel like and it felt really bad.
But then sex is supposed to be enjoyable if not, why would people keep flaunting it?

 I decidely kept my mind on Daniel... 
It was enough to get me turned on...
Hell, it's enough to turn any woman on...i mean, he was so hot. 
You could see his biceps even through his shirt, how much more when he took it off.
Then i thought...what if he wasn’t gentle?
What if he was just into the sex and didn’t care about me? 
Ofcourse he had said he’d be gentle but guys say anything to get what they, don’t they?
To make matters worse, i remembered a book i read about a guy who was really rough with a girl during sex and it was just her first time. It left her really sore that she swore to never do it again. 
That got really scared and i jumped into the bed to try and fall asleep before he decided to come up.
 but before i could settle in,……….

I had a change of mind. 
I wanted it anyway and this was time for me. 
I didn’t want to be shy or scared about it, i wanted to be like other women.
I wanted to have a baby 
And if all that's to happen, I needed to go through the first phase and savour it in order to be one of those who could recall their first experience with pleasure. So i brushed aside every scary thought and braced myself for what was coming. 
I sat up and pulled the bed cover just up to my waist and tried to stay calm while waiting for him.
           
Half an hour later, he deemed it fit to come to me. 
Maybe he was giving me enough time to change my mind, i don’t know…
Maybe i should have fall asleep or something. 
Apparently that didn’t happen because i was very much awake and ready for him.
  My nerves were already calm but as soon as i saw him, my heart started racing again...
More than ever... 
He silently went into the bathroom to do God knows what because when he finally came out, he still had his clothes on. He got on the bed prolly trying to get on with it but the look on my face must have been what stopped him.
He sighed and said,
"God, i’m not an animal." Then sucked in his breathe and continued,
"I told you i’d be gentle, why are you still scared?"
"I’m..erm not scared." i said, backing up. 
"Then why are you moving away from me." he asked. 
I looked about my self and then moved…
close to him, trying to keep a cool face though i was so trembling inside. 
He noticed.
"Okay i’ll help you calm down." He said.
Then,
"It’s not like we’re doing anything dangerous," His waved his hand around vaguely. 
"My God it’s just sex. Sex is pleasure.” And with that, he got off the bed and ……..
Anticipating???
Move to the next post me lovelies...😈

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