Stories By Hope

Love is not for me! Love is not for me!!  Love is not for me!!!  Yeah, I said it.  How much of the things we say is strong enough to be true? How much of what we say is even real?  Hell, how much of life is real?  Everything?  You think so?  I don't know.  What makes life important?  Happiness. Money. Good health. success. Love? Love? What is love?  Trust me, in this world, love is pain! I don't know about the next.  Why do we still crave love even though all it brings us is pain? Heartache, dull ache in the chest, butterflies in the stomach, whatever, all pain.  Why must love be a part of a fulfilled life? Trust me there are men and women in this world who are fulfilled without love...and yet the world judges them. Why judge them? Do you know what they've been through? Do you know how many times they've opened up their doors to love? Do you know how many times love has let them down?  And then the world says they are hard...

I stand here.  Naked! Well, not the regular naked you know. Just the one when all of your mind has been bared... All the hopes, all the fears, all the regrets, all the thoughts...  Nothing left to say.  And yet, I do not feel free.  The burden still weighs me down. I look all over my body...  Maybe there's still some left trace of the dress. .. Dress that was ripped off me with my say. Dress I had made up my mind to forget.  I mean it was New... made of a fine And luxurious material... Real thin like a one piece bathing suit but had the wieght of the world when I put it on.  I wore it thinking I could handle it... Maybe the dresses before were so Light and So unworthy Of me...thats why they didn't last. They didn't have the thing in them that could keep me happy and free.  I couldn't handle it. After a few times of wearing it changed its shade of colour.  I thought it pink before but I started to see red.  Crimson red!  Was I b...

This is life, shit happens!  We love and we hate... And then we love again... Maybe. Some of us are strong enough to heal and make the same mistakes again. Some of us are strong enough to heal but then not make the mistake again. Yet, some of us are strong enough to have nothing to do with love again! But whatever we have faced, how enough is it to be strong enough to hurt the next person who falls in love with us? Let me ask... Is that even a strength, a weakness or just plain vengeance? In bracket, wickedness on another innocent soul. Think about it people... What gives you the right to hurt another just because you've been hurt? Do you see yourself a good person for toiling with someone's heart just because you're not ready to love or be committed to anyone? Karma is bitch, do not forget that ever! Well, forget it or not, what goes around comes around...and there's no exceptions for people who think themselves good just because they are honest at...

It's 2:44am and I'm crying my eyes out. I feel foolish but I can't help the tears. In my two room apartment that has always been cozy for me, I feel restless and a great urge to take flight. This apartment has been home for me for months now. I leave it in three months time but no matter, it's still my home...a place of refuge, a place where I can be hidden. ...much hidden and alone... But not exactly alone. I hear the voices and conversations of many a people. Now why am I restless and unable to  sleep even at this time? It's because of a man! All my life, I've had enough tears for men...but this feels the worst. I have never cried for a man the way that I've cried for this one. I've never even settled for such a man, never thought my pride and ego would even conceal themselves all for this man. He acted different... Better than other men I've dated... But he turned out the worst of them all. No emotions... No emotions at a...

We got to my room and I didn't hesitate at all. I just grabbed his face and started kissing him. Don't judge me; I’d been wanting to for weeks. He pushed me aside gently and I felt really embarrassed. I wasn't that kind of girl... I was just... OK; I don't need to explain myself. "Can we just talk? You know...get to know each other.” he said. "I thought you wanted sex." "Yes...and I still do. I just like to know about who I’m doing it with." "Wait..." I started...smiling. "You were going to do that with her and in the toilet,” I exclaimed and started laughing "No..." he started, "I mean, no! I wasn’t and that’s not funny, i...” "It's just a question." I said, cutting him shut. He kept quiet for a moment and then said, “No, I wasn't. I wasn't even going to have sex with her." "I'm sure that wasn't what she was thinking." I said. And this tim...

I needed to use the toilet... I don't know why alcohol makes me want to pee every time...does it happen to you? Anyways, I hated using the toilet during the parties because, it would always turn out that you were intruding on something. They keep forgetting it's my house. I left the house to make use of a friend's...thank God I had a friend who lived closed by and when I got back, what do I find? The Nkem guy dancing with one of those chics who like to get laid...with whoever. I wasn't going to let that happen. If he was here, then he was mine alone so I walked up to them and tried to catch his attention but it was so obvious he was pretending not to have seen me. I stood there wondering what to do... eyeing the chic... thinking about pushing her off but  decided to be polite at the last minute. I told the chic I was with him and when she tried to prove strong headed, I shot her those Cleopatra stares of mine and she got the message. Yes, people say ...

My sister Gabrielle was a party freak! There never was a weekend a party wasn't holding at our house. The house would be filled with people...most of them, I don't know. People tend to invite their friends to parties only they were invited to.  The booming sound coming from the music was always a pain in the ass for the neighbours. Yes they complained... ...but they could never do anything about it since we're still in Nigeria and nobody wants to take up a court case for noisy neighbours. I won't lie, as much as I didn't like that the noise disturbed the neighbours, I enjoyed those parties a lot. There was always drinking and dancing.... I know, that always happen at parties. Once or so, I would walk in on couples having sex in the bathroom...now that part irritates me. How horny can one get that a bathroom becomes comfortable enough for sex? I'm never trying that...at all. It was in one of these parties that i met him... Nkem... at first we w...